In some of the consent workshops and social circles I’ve participated in over the past few years the phrase “thank you for taking care of yourself” has been an applauded response to people claiming their boundaries.

In its simplest version it looks something like this:

Person A:  Would you like to do X with me?

Person B:  No, thanks.  

Person A:  Okay.  Thanks for taking care of yourself.

The offering of gratitude to someone claiming their boundaries affirms that we all gain when we take individual responsibility for our well being.  Personal sovereignty, interpersonal consent, and group consensus are simultaneous co-creations.  Our personal perspectives and preferences are the root of collective consensus and action.  Taking responsibility is in my view the meaning of being an adult.

The third and fourth agreements of BraveSpace have been useful to me in navigating prominent questions of this time, such as what kinds of gatherings I can offer, how I relate with the people closest to me, and even what information I weigh in my processes.  

3) We agree not to control others or otherwise force them to move, touch, or speak in a way we may prefer.  We do not chase or grasp others (even if we think it’s for their gain).

4) We agree to trust others to take care of themselves.  To do otherwise would be in violation of agreement 3.  We can graciously offer assistance to others and find out if it is accepted.

My processing of the information at hand has me once again offering live events.  I’m grateful I can support community in the new dance studio at the TransforMansion, including Ecstatic Dance and BraveSpace.  I also look forward to holding residential retreats once a kitchen and bathroom have been built.

For those who are ready to gather, I offer space.  Thank you for taking care of yourself.

See events, both live and virtual, here.

To join the text lists for live or virtual events text me at 2089850331.

Censorship, Consensus, and Sovereignty

I have never seen censorship so apparent as it is now.  Facebook and Youtube, once a place where people could share ideas relatively equally, now have chosen to decide what is and isn’t fit to print.  The problem of ‘fake news’ is real, and yet what we may reluctantly find to be true appears initially impossible or ridiculous. By preventing non-normalized viewpoints from being seen censorship skews perception and centralizes power.  Whether the intent behind censorship is to caretake or disempower, the effect remains.

In many, if not all respects, truth happens by consensus.  Our individual viewpoints come together to create a communal one.  We convince each other of things depending on the stories we tell.  We have more or less credibility in that negotiation depending on the evidence we call upon to illustrate support for our stories.  It is tremendously frustrating to firmly believe something is true and have others disagree—it can make us crazy, and even define craziness.  I often cling to reality; most of us do.  But that doesn’t mean we’re clinging to the same reality, or to the ‘right’ one.  It’s certainly not as rational a process as we like to believe.

I’d like to define sovereignty as the wholeness of an individual.  As sovereign beings we are part of the larger whole of humanity, the larger whole of consciousness, and the larger whole of Earth.  We are living systems, made up of living systems, and participating in living systems.  TRUTH is difficult if not impossible to discern in part because its perception depends on where we’re looking from, and what it is we’re focusing on. 

While consensus and sovereignty can often coexist without dramatic conflict, this is clearly a time of great tension.  It is also a time of great fear.  I worry over decisions that are driven by fear; both my own decisions and those of the collective.  I am afraid of a narrative prioritizing technology and pharmaceuticals over connection with our bodies and each other.  I am afraid that the trust I have in my immune system will be subjugated to a consensus at odds with my sovereignty, and that my objections will be censored out just as the information that supports my view is mocked and censored in the media.

Now I pause.  The state of fear—fight, flight, or freeze—so quickly takes over the ability to feel subtlety.  Within subtlety lies inner guidance:  Every body is part of the body of earth, and every consciousness is part of the larger consciousness.  The deep knowledge that comes from within cannot be censored.  This way of knowing takes time.  It requires patience.

I believe we can each contribute honorably to consensus reality by sensitizing to our inner guidance.  Holding our sovereignty in this way we become less amenable to narratives of fear that may otherwise exert control over our viewpoints and behavior.

If you want help or seek community for the process of tuning in, please join us for BraveSpace online or reach out personally.  

My wife Kendy is a nutritional therapist exposed to a lot of powerful and sometimes counter-cultural dietary information.  A few days ago she sent me an article that correlated obesity, metabolic disorders, and morbidity in the current crisis.  We each felt the article might be useful to people and shared it on facebook.  What ensued was both some of the most significant backlash I’ve encountered to one of my posts, and also some of the most distinctive support.  A few people took it as an effort to shame them.

I’ll offer what I see here, along with a link to the article, and I would be curious if you’d like to share your own viewpoint:  I’ll collate responses to this email and assemble them for you next week so long as there’s something significant to share.  You—my readers—are a diverse group of intelligent, compassionate, and free-thinking people.  I would greatly enjoy connecting and your insights.

A key response on FB was that there is a lot of cyclical trauma in body shape, size, weight, and other aspects of health.  We heard that many people feel powerless to make change in the face of their trauma.  Perhaps change is a privilege not available to everyone, yet in considering the question of change I ask not if other people are powerless, but whether ‘we’ are.  ‘We’ are the ones reading this—each of us as an individual who makes choices with the resources we have.  

In a world where trauma rules our ability to share and consider information there’s little to be done but arrange our viewpoint so that we and others feel safe.  (Check out Michael Singer’s book ‘The Untethered Soul’)

Yet, the world isn’t safe and never has been.  Each of us will die.  Life is a really risky undertaking!  That’s what makes it interesting.  Each of us is privileged to be here, and each of us is challenged to be here too.

Moving beyond trauma is never guaranteed, but what if it only happens when we aren’t willing to be imprisoned by it anymore?  Trauma responses are not comfortable, easy, or fair.  There’s more and more resources for solving trauma, but they don’t choose themselves—people choose to seek these resources.  It takes responsibility.  And, my view is that we aren’t here to judge each other.  If you feel judged by me or someone else, check in deeply and ask if you may be judging yourself.  That’s as normal as trauma. 

I see no shame in any form of body.  The risk of mortality is also the same for all of us—we’re all going back where we came from.  The likelihood of being taken earlier than we might prefer by chronic illness or this virus appears to be a different matter.

Sugar kills.  Industrially processed oils kill.  They cause our bodies to fail slowly; i.e. diabetes and metabolic disease.  Obesity is one sign—among many—that the body’s physiology is out of balance.  This happens easily in a culture out of balance, a food system out of balance, and a medical system that while capable of miracles, often prioritizes pharmaceuticals over less profitable yet more effective lifestyle solutions. There’s a lot of scientific support for these statements, and the corporate food/government culture doesn’t want you to know.  Look up “Organic food is a…” on Google and see what comes up.  It’s improving since I was instructed to do so last week in an article (I think people have been speaking up), but “sham” and “a lie” are still some of the top results.

Loving our bodies means accepting them exactly as they are, and doesn’t preclude change if there’s something calling for it.  I believe we are all being called to step up and care for ourselves deeply.  When we do that we create a stronger, more resilient community too.  With healthy immune systems viruses and other pathogens have far less power to scare and immobilize us.  

Here’s the article that I shared on facebook.  If you’re curious to go deeper,  my wife Kendy is leading a class and support group beginning this Thursday that can help you get off sugar if that’s something you’d like to try.

Let me know what you see.

Love and gratitude,

Matthew

Like many, I struggle in my relationship to money.  The shutdown of my practice in the current circumstances has brought this into clear focus.  I want to share a physical practice with you that I created yesterday to explore my relationship with money somatically.  While I am often somewhat numb to subtle explorations like the one I present here, I also have a deep trust in the knowledge of my body—and of all of our bodies.  Here’s the structure to try, or just to read, as well as my experience with it:

For this practice you need some money; I suggest using the largest bill you have available for this practice.  If you have a $100 bill use it.  Adapt as fits you—as with everything I suggest here.  Next time I do this I’ll probably try it with $1 for contrast.

Begin simply—by feeling into your body.  Any system of organizing your awareness will surely work; I used the chakra system.  In this system the seven areas along the spine are 1) the pelvic floor, 2) the area1-2” below the navel, 3) the solar plexus/diaphragm, 4) the heart, 5) the throat, 6) the brow/3rd eye 7) the top of the head.  As you scan, notice physical sensation, emotion, and thoughts as you bring your attention to each of these areas.  You may do this as a seated meditation, or as a movement practice.  

Now grab the money.  (The word ‘grab’ is curious here, right?)  You’ll be relating the money physically to each energy center and noticing your sensations, emotions, and thoughts.  You can do this as a seated meditation, or as a movement practice.

Here’s what that looked like for me:  I sat on the money.  I put the money in the front of my waistband and at the back.  I held the money to the front of my solar plexus and to the back.  I held the money over my heart.  I held the money to my throat and moved it around.  I held the money to my forehead and to the back of my head.  I put the money in a hat on top of my head.

Write down notes once you’ve completed the process.  The act of writing solidifies and amplifies experience.  Writing supports the inner-scientist role to gather data with as little judgement as possible.  Then you can go back and read it to interpret your data.

Here’s what I noticed:

1. Sitting on $100 felt supportive.  I also found myself holding the question of whether my having money to sit on meant someone else did not.
2. Having money at my lower belly felt charged.  It felt like a bit of a guilty pleasure, and perhaps a bit healing.
3. Holding money to my solar plexus I felt grief, embarrassment, and sadness.
4. Holding money to my heart I felt a longing to be in service.
5. Holding money to my throat I felt numb.  I had thoughts that I don’t know what to say about money or how to ask for it.
6. Holding money to my brow I felt ridiculous. 
7. Having money on top of my head I was bored of the investigation.

My current interpretations:

Money is not separate from service—it is a way of creating agreements.

My relationship to money is strained at my ego—I have more to learn about how self-worth and money connect, and how to prioritize service.

I want to carry more money around with me at different parts of my body and see what I learn.

Tomorrow and Saturday at BraveSpace online (12-1:15pm MDT online) I will hold space for us to explore our relationships with money, value, and service as we move together.  

A few years ago I had the privilege of meeting and collaborating with musician David Wilcox at the Boulder Conference on World Affairs.  He does astounding healing work improvising songs for people based on the stories they tell about their lives.  He inspired me to work with dance similarly:  One person tells a story and then I and/or others move the experience of hearing the story.  Movement is a way of knowing and processing in-formation.  The mover need not intentionally try to tell the story, or even any story, yet what comes through is often significant to everyone involved.  Our stories are our own, and they are also communal.  This feels especially true in our current shared circumstances.

Tomorrow at BraveSpace online (12-1:15pm MDT online) I will offer to dance your story, or you may choose to dance someone else’s.  We’ll all have time to warm up and move within our own stories, and nobody will be put on the spot.

Touch is like a nutrient.  We can certainly go for a while without it, but we are healthier with it.  There’s plenty of science exploring the neurochemistry of touch and how it regulates oxytocin, cortisol, seratonin, and dopamine.  I found so many articles I’ll let you do the search yourself if you’re curious.  The short of it is that touch matters, and that context matters too.  Not all touch is the same, and different people have different preferences around who touches them, how, and when.

In this peculiar time of isolation with COVID-19, I have heard from many how much they miss touch above all else.  Many of you reading this may be in complete isolation.  If so, can you imagine someone you could exchange touch with intentionally?  Is there someone with whom you could establish agreements about touch, and about COVID exposure?  Contact improvisation (CI) is a dance form built around touch.  CI dances can be many things: leaning, rolling, sliding, lifting, breathing, massaging, and simply being.  As a society we tend to associate touch with sexuality—and sometimes touch is sexual—but often it is not.  It can be scary to approach touch consciously particularly because sexuality comes into question.  Perhaps this time asks for a new level of awareness and intention here.  

This Wednesday at BraveSpace online (12-1:15pm MDT) I will lead a session on intentional touch.  If you are able to join with a partner I will guide you dancing together.  If you are alone we will explore tactile awareness and self-touch.

Below is a recent video of my dear friend Callie Ritter and I dancing together two ways: sped up 20x, and in real time, with Dave Jones playing handpan.  I offer it to inspire not intimidate:  You may try this at home even if you aren’t a professional.  Be sensitive to your partner and attempt not to grasp or control them.