We’re so good at connecting with each other that sometimes it’s difficult not to. In the BraveSpace Online non-verbal consent and boundaries class a few weeks ago we explored how we automatically meet and match others’ energy. Once we attune to how we’re doing this we have greater access to choice in how to reposition ourselves and redirect when something isn’t right for us. 

A number of people asked me if I recorded the workshop, and I didn’t because it was personal and interactive–the nature of this work requires a closed container.  I created this video as a window into some of what we covered–I hope it’s useful and perhaps even fun.  There’s a lot of funny facial expressions!

I’ll set up the next workshop soon.  Life is asking me to go slow at the moment, and I’m doing my best to listen.  

Love and gratitude,
Matthew

There is certainly a pleasure in being of service, but how about a service in experiencing pleasure?  When I find pleasure in myself, and allow myself to inhabit it, can that serve you?  I believe it can and does so long as my pleasure is generous in nature, genuinely creating energy rather than taking it.  What boundaries make this possible?
 
Let’s acknowledge the elephant in regard to pleasure; it is strongly associated with sexuality.  I’ve written a bit in the past about sovereign sexuality; I think of this as an internal energetic relationship within myself.  There are a number of traditions of inner lovemaking that can generate pleasure without stimulating the genitals or even touching the body—we can love ourselves by just breathing.  This is one way to look at meditation, and also a way I approach movement.  Now you may define this kind of experience as distinctly non-sexual.  Yet, you and I can never actually know what the other is experiencing, and so concepts and words like sexuality, sensuality, or meditation are hugely relative.  What I believe is consistent, however, is the energy flow between us.  We can both perceive that.  If I am taking energy from you to get pleasure you will probably feel that.  If I am generating energy and making it available to you without attachment, you will likely feel that too.  We each meet the boundary between us with energetic intent.  This is where consent takes place.  There are conscious and unconscious layers of our interaction.  If I unconsciously do something different from what I consciously intend, that’s my shadow in control.  I have asked myself many times as I start speaking about these things about my unconscious intent:  Am I writing just to have you validate something in me, taking your energy for my own benefit?  Am I using the concepts of pleasure and sexuality to get attention?  There’s surely a layer of that, but it doesn’t feel primary.  I’m writing because I think there’s beauty to be found here in each of us.
 
So how is generating and experiencing pleasure of service?  Let’s hold this mystery together.  I investigate it a bit more in the attached video.  I welcome your feedback.
 
Please join me for BraveSpace Online this Wednesday June 15^th at 6pm Mountain Time.  We will explore non-verbal aspects of boundaries and consent.  

Consent is a co-creative process by which we decide what may and may not take place in an interaction.  Dance is a spectacular place to illuminate and practice these largely non-verbal negotiations.  Improvisatory dances such as contact improvisation and ecstatic dance are particularly poignant because there are relatively few set rules—most everything is up for creative interpretation.  If we get stuck in our heads this makes it more challenging, but if we consciously listen and trust our bodies then a magical coherence starts to take place, and the dance takes on a life of its own.

I have had the wonderful privilege of traveling this week with my wife and son in Mexico.  We don’t speak Spanish, so verbal communication with others is restricted.  There’s many people who do speak English, and simultaneously many of those people reaching out to us wish to sell us something; we are clearly tourists.  We find ourselves navigating between being gracious guests and holding our boundaries with clarity.  Spacing, facing, eye contact, timing, and movement quality are all key ways we communicate.  It’s uncomfortable and disorienting at times, but also really incredible how much can be navigated non-verbally.  Please join me to explore these elements in the Non-Verbal Boundaries and Consent BraveSpace Online Workshop on June 15th.

Last week my friend Kelsey and I illustrated ways of beginning and ending dances.  This week’s video is about boundaries; sometimes firm, often gracious, and almost always creative.

Everything in life happens in phrases—a beginning, a middle, and an end.  This is true of every breath, every sentence, and every dance.  Dancing with others, whether touching or not, is a fantastic opportunity to discover our own phrasing and to own it gracefully and respectfully.  In dance we consistently reposition ourselves in relationship with others and our world. 
 
Repositioning is how we negotiate consent non-verbally.  So long as we don’t freeze in a fear or trauma response, our bodies are very good at moving in relation to what we do or don’t want to be near in any moment.  We can make this process conscious and practice it if we wish to shift our patterns, heal what isn’t serving us, or better recognize what others are communicating.  Every dance has an end.  When is it?  How do we know?  Check out this video where my friend Kelsey and I dive into the mystery of getting into and out of dances.

I’d like to explain the differences between Dance Technique Class (Monday @5:30), Contact Improvisation Class (Friday @8pm), Downtempo Lounge/Jam and Ecstatic Dance (Sunday @Noon). 

Dance Technique is choreographed class that can help you become stronger, more flexible, and smarter in your body.  If you’ve never been to a choregraphed class you might think of it as a yoga or exercise class without a mat.  The class I teach is mostly contemporary/modern dance with elements from ballet, yoga, African, and many other movement styles.  Some experience with your body is helpful, and all levels are welcome.  Please be on time, or up to 10 min early.

Contact Improvisation (CI) Class can help you become more creative in your body and more comfortable in relationship with others.  The class will provide explorations of movement and awareness that get you out of your head and into motion.  Movement and touch with others is a part of the play, and you will be supported in claiming your boundaries.  This is an all-levels class, and those with experience will have the opportunity to make use of it.  Please be on time, or up to 10 min early.

Downtempo Lounge is an ecstatic dance with gentler/slower music.  It is an opportunity to continue with the lessons from Contact Improvisation (CI) Class, but you need not come to class to join.  In the world of CI, this is typically called a jam.  There is no additional charge for CI class participants.  Come and go as you please 9-10:30.

Ecstatic Dance is an opportunity to be completely yourself with others.  The focus is on the music and the space we hold together.  I play a mixture of music styles centered around new releases of organic bass electronica (find my playlists on Spotify at Matthew DJgluteus).  There is a brief opening circle 10-15 minutes after start time and a closing circle at the end.  Sometimes I’ll offer an optional movement mediation before circle, and otherwise there is no instruction. Come and go as you please.

You can find the events calendar and my website at www.soma.works/m

A BraveSpace Online Evening Class Wednesday May 18th
6pm-7:15pm Mountain Time on Zoom
Offered for $22.22, or for FREE
Link Below

Your pleasure is key to your healing power, and your spine is the primary generator for it.  The nature of the spine is connection, transmitting energy and motion through the body.  There are many names for the life force energy that travels this conduit, and many systems that study it:  The spiraling snakes of the caduceus are the symbol of modern medicine.  They also represent the flow of Kundalini and sexuality.  From Yoga to Chiropractic, we communally understand how important our spinal motions are.  Yet, the pleasure of moving the spine and its power to heal is less often discussed; perhaps this is communal shame around pleasure.  

In this BraveSpace Online Evening Class we will explore motions of the spine to find sacred pleasure within our own wholeness.  You will leave with practical tools for your own pleasure and healing that you can use without shame anywhere you go.

As a BraveSpace workshop you will have the opportunity to move, witness, and be witnessed by others in your authenticity.  We will hold space together for vulnerability in the safety and comfort of our own homes.  Please have a bit of space on the ground where you can move without the interruption of others and where you can have screen, sound, and camera on Zoom.  Nothing else is required.

Sign up at this link.  You will be emailed a zoom link for the class.
$22.22
Use the Coupon Code FREE to join for free.