I stated in some conversation recently that the realm of the spiritual occurs when we consider a frame larger than one lifetime.  I’ve been sitting with this, wondering at such a simple, limited inroad to the ineffable.  The first lesson of the mystery school I was initiated into was to “Get your hands off the mystery!”  It’s difficult to allow the unknown to stay this way—feeling through the infinite instead of trying to logic it into definition. Trying to grasp the formless seems only to push it away, and holding that there is more to life than appears at first blush is also essential to having a meaningful experience

My mother passed into the next realm earlier this week, and for all conjecture I cannot know where it is that she has gone.  Feeling my way though, I am incredibly glad that I was with her through the process.  I had the opportunity to look into her eyes, see her deeply, and to feel deeply seen.  She was clear that she was ready to die, and she did not appear afraid.  She was always clear about what she wanted and what she saw.  I continue to learn about this from her.

I recorded this video in the midst of her passing, which was a three-day process.  As a bodyworker sensitive to energy it was astounding to be near her body at the end:  I could bring my hands near her in the way I generally do to feel someone’s energy field, and they’d simply land on her body.  I typically encounter the energy field as a sense of resistance a few feet away.  In this case I felt nothing there—her field had collapsed to be smaller than her physical body.  Yet, dancing in a park a few miles away, I could feel her.  With the possible exception of at my wedding, or perhaps when I was very young, I never danced with my mom in her physical body.  This video marks something new—dancing with Mom.  I love you, Mom.