I approach integrity by seeking to acknowledge and include all the parts of myself that guide my actions in any moment.  This requires shadow work—to see aspects of myself that don’t match my beliefs about who I think I am, compassionately bringing them into consciousness.  A key aspect of this for me is to not immediately try to change any aspect of myself which I may not like.  To do so just sends those parts back into the shadows.  Instead I am asked to hold the polarity of difference.  One of the aspects of self I find most difficult to hold deeply in integrity is my sexuality.  What I’m attracted to in one moment I may be repelled by in another.  I am by nature a pleasure seeker.  I can be hijacked by my longings, and yet attempting to control them only increases the degree to which they operate unconsciously.  I can certainly control my actions, but the reach of sexual energy is both subtle and powerful.  In my experience sexual energetics can only be honestly acknowledged, integrated, and communicated, but not controlled.  There’s so much to say about this, but my intention in speaking to it here is simply to call forth a field of awareness:  Sexuality is a primary drive and experience for me, and I don’t think I’m alone.  We are all deeply affected by sexual phenomena and sexual energy.  I also believe this is a key if not ‘the’ key to our creative potential.   
 
Beyond the surface pleasures of sexuality, there is a deep pleasure in integrity.  We navigate and attempt to shape our sexuality through social conventions around our movement, how we dress, our ways of speaking, and even how we use our gaze.  Art has a way of cutting through and expanding these ways of relating with our sexual energies.  In classically revered paintings we are allowed to openly witness naked bodies, something that is otherwise usually taboo.  In film we can watch others in very intimate situations, also something we otherwise generally cannot.  Even debate about what does and does not constitute sexuality for any one of us can be held by art, because it is open to interpretation.  Art provides the needed opportunity and permission to get out of our heads; to feel the deeper tides of consciousness.  This is why I dance.
 
I began the process of creating a short film of naked contact improvisation almost four years ago.  I was driven to it by a deep longing and curiosity for the deep pleasure of integrity.  It took a year for me to even look at the footage—to be willing to see into and through it to the roots of my longing.  For me this film is full of sexuality and yet not directly sexual in action, a dynamic that I’m still integrating.  I’m curious to hear how it lands for you.  I invite you to watch the preview and notice what arises.  If you wish to continue from that point you can navigate to the 9-minute film at www.nakedcontactdance.com.
 
These are unbelievable times.  Collectively we are facing global issues of incomprehensible scales.  On some level it feels strange to me to focus on dancing naked in such a time.  However, one of my favorite philosophers, Charles Eisenstein, speaks to the impossibility of answering the predicaments of our time with more logic and technology—our problems have grown beyond such solutions.  I believe it is by seeing ourselves more clearly, in all our underlying motivations, that we may approach integrity and accomplish the impossible.  It is time to better know and trust our bodies—bodies who reveal what is deeply true.  I hope this film may help you uncover aspects of yourself not yet seen.