In some of the consent workshops and social circles I’ve participated in over the past few years the phrase “thank you for taking care of yourself” has been an applauded response to people claiming their boundaries.

In its simplest version it looks something like this:

Person A:  Would you like to do X with me?

Person B:  No, thanks.  

Person A:  Okay.  Thanks for taking care of yourself.

The offering of gratitude to someone claiming their boundaries affirms that we all gain when we take individual responsibility for our well being.  Personal sovereignty, interpersonal consent, and group consensus are simultaneous co-creations.  Our personal perspectives and preferences are the root of collective consensus and action.  Taking responsibility is in my view the meaning of being an adult.

The third and fourth agreements of BraveSpace have been useful to me in navigating prominent questions of this time, such as what kinds of gatherings I can offer, how I relate with the people closest to me, and even what information I weigh in my processes.  

3) We agree not to control others or otherwise force them to move, touch, or speak in a way we may prefer.  We do not chase or grasp others (even if we think it’s for their gain).

4) We agree to trust others to take care of themselves.  To do otherwise would be in violation of agreement 3.  We can graciously offer assistance to others and find out if it is accepted.

My processing of the information at hand has me once again offering live events.  I’m grateful I can support community in the new dance studio at the TransforMansion, including Ecstatic Dance and BraveSpace.  I also look forward to holding residential retreats once a kitchen and bathroom have been built.

For those who are ready to gather, I offer space.  Thank you for taking care of yourself.

See events, both live and virtual, here.

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